Here is my attempt at using this intriguing format:
Unfortunately I unwittingly brought a mouse home in my school bag on the last day before Christmas break. (Is there such a word as "wittingly" so that one could do the opposite of "unwittingly" doing something --- not bring home a mouse, of course!)
Fortunately it didn't show itself during the hours I spent wrapping gifts sitting on the floor in the upstairs bedroom (where I put my school gift bag).
Unfortunately when I moved the bag after Christmas it ran out and scared the holy-not-a-nice-word out of me.
Fortunately it nibbled on my Christmas chocolate so I was not in the least tempted to nibble on it myself.
Unfortunately it's the smartest doggone mouse on the planet and has evaded all attempts to catch it.
Fortunately I had a few weeks where I saw no evidence of the blasted thing, and thought perhaps it had vacated the premises.
Unfortunately it was BAAAAAACK, making noise in a closet or behind a dresser at 1:15 a.m. last night.
Fortunately I have several sticky traps and have moved them all to within mere feet of where I think it may be stealthily sequestered.
Unfortunately when searching other bedrooms upstairs I found "evidence" in each of them and I don't think it's old evidence because it would have been vacuumed up.
Fortunately it hasn't made its way down the stairs to the main floor and kitchen.
Unfortunately I have trouble sleeping thinking that it's up there on the same floor (or in the very room where I am seeking to simple slumber) with me.
Fortunately a student offered to loan me his cat for a month or a year (yes, really, he says a month but mom extended a more open-ended offer).
Unfortunately I cannot convince my husband that a cat is a viable solution—he thinks it's better to have a mouse.
Fortunately a custodian at school suggested a means to get the pesky intruder: put out a small shallow dish of Coke because it will come and drink it and then won't be able to expel the gas in it and will explode???? (This sounds like a rejected idea for Myth Busters!)
Unfortunately exploding mouse is not a vision I can remotely handle.
Fortunately I've put peanut butter on my sticky traps (inhumane, I know) in hopes of luring the small rodent to imbibe in a special snack.
Unfortunately after 8 hours I've had no luck with my peanut-buttery plans of entrapment.
Fortunately I am an eternal optimist—believing that one day success will be mine!
Unfortunately today doesn't seem to be that day.
Fortunately there's always that cat...perhaps when my husband next travels on a business trip...
A wife, mom, daughter, sister, friend, lifelong learner, educator